I feel my Identity Unit paper is the best piece to show my revision and re seeing skills because my first submission of this paper was unorganized and not polished. It needed a good amount of work as far as sentence structure and staying on topic instead of wandering.
This assignment was about identity, where identities come from, if we have any say of our own, and if we can change them. Some of my strengths for this assignment were that I used many examples from the text that tried to help explain what I was trying to get across. Some weaknesses I had in this paper were going off topic and jumping around what I was trying to say within each paragraph. My paragraphs also didn't flow very well from one to the next. An example of this is from my second to third paragraph. The second paragraph is saying that one's own language can be a great tool in finding one's self-identity. I go on to explain how people can take identities that others put on them or they can speak up and declare their own identity. When I transition to my third paragraph I don't really use any transitional words and I talk about people coming from other countries and that that could already be part of their own self-identity. This would be something they can't choose and don't have a say on because that is where they are from.
This jump to a completely different topic of identity from the second to the third paragraph is my piece is very choppy and would interrupt the reader's concentration. This section could use the most work out of the entire piece to make the paper more uniform and transitional from paragraph to paragraph.
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